Liddo Bitta Tita

Our local authority knows bes'

 

 

Dear Santa,    

You must be supah-busy this year ‘cause da kids nowadays like fancy kine stuffs: cell phones and iPods. Must be hard to find elves with da kine high-tech skills fo’ keep up wit’ da demand.  Not like in my day, when we used to ask fo’ hula hoops and rollah skates. You wen’ bring me all what I ask fo’ every year, except fo’ da time I wen’ ask fo’ one baby bruddah. But was OK ‘cause you wen’ give me my second choice—one puppy—and Jingles turned out to be way mo’ fun than one baby bruddah.

Anyways, I know your kuleana is fo’ make small kids happy, and even though I short, I not one small kid, but I was hoping maybe you grant my wish fo’ old times’ sake. I nevah ask you fo’ notting long time now, and I only was naughty couple, t’ree times this year.

So Santa, you can bring me some rain? I mean plenny rain, da kine we used to get every winter, small kid time. Hard fo’ get in da holiday spirit without dat kine rain.

Mainland kids had White Christmas, but da colors of Maui Christmas was dark gray and deep green. Decembah was full of rainy days, enough fo’ make da flowahs and grass, but mostly weeds, all happy. Us kids knew that when da rainy season come, Santa not far behind.

Back then, da holiday season was Thanksgiving to New Year’s. And you know, I tink mo’ bettah you go back to your old schedule. All da PR you doing from Halloween to Thanksgiving is overkill. Too much exposure. You making people grumpy.

Remembah how you used to come Wailuku town in da nighttime parade? Da Baldwin High School Band would march in their pajamas and you was right behind, riding in da fire engine. One a dose years, you gave me one two-story doll house. I t’ink da elves was on strike dat year, ‘cause Daddy had to finish making ‘em fo’ you. Came out nice, though.

And remembah one year you came my house and nevah have any other presents unda-neath da tree? Somebody wen’ break in and steal ‘em. I was all mad, but Ma said no sense get upset. Da crooks wen’ take our presents befo’ we could open ‘em, so we nevah know what had inside. And how can you miss what you neva know you had? We was lucky, Ma said.

Every one a dose Christmases, had rain. Gray skies and flannel blankets and da smell of wet grass. And even aftah I grew up, da rainy season always put me in da holiday mood, all jolly, li’ dat.
 
But in da last ten, fifteen years, I notice we not getting da same kine rain like befo’. My friend who watch CNN, she says dat’s from global warming. All I know is, no feel like Christmastime if no mo’ da rain.

So please, Santa, bring me some rain. If no can, my second choice is one iPhone. Nemmind da baby bruddah already. I no tink Ma would appreciate it.

Aloha,
Tita

Tita is the pidgin-speaking alter ego of local actress and Mana‘o Radio cofounder/DJ Kathy Collins. Both Tita and Ms. Collins grew up on Maui.

Click here to hear Tita.